How Feminism Rewired Female Attraction

Part II: Hijacking Desire

Feminism didn’t just reshape institutions. It reshaped instincts.

That’s why we can’t talk about “going back” without acknowledging something deeper: it’s not just the culture that changed. It’s women’s desires. What they admire. What they chase. What they think they need. What they think they deserve.

The feminist movement sold women a new story, not just about roles, but about what kind of man is “worthy” and what kind of woman is “desirable.” In doing so, it rewired the architecture of female attraction—and set women up for relational failure at every level

I. The Old Code: Desire Ordered Toward Stability

Before feminism, female desire, though always complex, was grounded in one basic truth: women were drawn to men who could lead, protect, provide, and sacrifice. The ideal man was one who could offer stability and demanded responsibility in return.

Attraction wasn’t divorced from duty. Desire was shaped by teleology, by ends. Women sought what would bear fruit in marriage, in family, in faith. Even the “rebellious” types still instinctively knew what a real man was: strong, virtuous, capable of enduring hardship.

It wasn’t perfect. But it was coherent

II. The New Code: Desire as Rebellion

Feminism decoupled female desire from function.

It told women to reject what was good for them in favor of what felt good to them, in the moment. It moralized independence and eroticized domination. It told women they were too good for faithful men, too strong for gentle ones, too enlightened for those who would commit.

The result? Women now chase the man least likely to love them well:

• Emotionally unavailable but sexually confident.

• Dominant but disloyal.

• Aggressive but aimless.

• Alpha posture, beta habits.

• No capacity for sacrifice, no concept of fatherhood.

This is the man feminism told women was “equal.” Not because he was virtuous, but because he didn’t expect anything from them. No obedience. No service. No vulnerability. Just mutual consumption and a shared disdain for God.

It’s not an accident that millions of women now feel “chemistry” with the man least likely to marry them, and “boredom” with the one most likely to stay.

III. The Men Left Behind

The irony is cruel. Feminism told women that men were the problem, but ensured that the only men women now notice are the problem.

Meanwhile, the men who are:

• steady,

• principled,

• devout,

• competent,

• ready to lead

are dismissed as too plain, too soft, too “controlling,” or just uninteresting. Because these men require women to become something the modern woman has been trained to resist: feminine.

Feminism raised women to despise the very posture that would allow them to receive this kind of man.

So now the landscape is this:

• Good men are invisible.

• Bad men are irresistible.

• And women are angry at both.

IV. What This Means for Marriage

The marriage crisis is not just about declining birth rates or delayed timelines. It’s about disordered desires.

People no longer want what they were designed for. And when they do want it, they no longer know how to recognize it.

You cannot build a lasting marriage when the feminine ideal is self-exalting and the masculine ideal is emotionally detached. You cannot raise children when both parents have been taught to center themselves first. And you cannot revive a civilization when attraction is tethered to vices instead of virtues.

Desire is not neutral. It must be trained. It must be purified. And feminism made that impossible by declaring all desire valid, as long as it was yours.

But desire without orientation is destruction. It may feel empowering, but it burns everything down.

V. Reclaiming Female Desire

Women will not “go back” simply by leaving the workplace. Rebuilding femininity starts in the will, but it must pass through the heart. And the heart has been colonized.

What’s needed is not just obedience, but reformation at the level of longing.

Women must relearn how to admire strength, not swagger. How to seek out responsibility, not rebellion. How to be drawn to order, not chaos. Because the kind of man who builds a home is rarely the kind who dominates a room, and the kind who lays down his life doesn’t need to peacock his value.

This requires humility. Not a retreat into childish dependence, but the mature recognition that the heart, too, must bend to truth.